A new grandson, A new beginning

Oh, what a beautiful baby... mom and baby are doing well. It has been quite a journey these past 3 weeks!

Daughter was "induced" tuesday morning, beginning with a cervadil patch applied to her cervix because she was not quite one centimeter dilated. 12 hours later there was no change, so they applied another patch... Wednesday morning STILL just a centimeter dilated, but "soft", so they began pictocin via IV to get contractions going... she handled the contractions very well, even when they became pretty strong and sometimes only a minute apart.

(She had been off of methadone completely for 2 days, and only 5 mg a day for two days before that, so I was quite surpised that on Tuesday, they were giving her 2 10 mg Norco tablets every 3-4 hours for pain - I thought that was a pretty hefty dose of an opiate (hydrocodone, but they knew her history, so - once she was on the IV they gave her stadol)

Anyway, after 12 hours on the pictocin and pretty strong and regular contractions they checked her and...

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What do you think?

Sooo Close - night before last Dr told my daughter he'd do a sonogram Thursday (today) and maybe induce on Friday... Alas, after sonogram this morning he decided to wait til next week... which is what he said earlier this week. I agree that everyday in the womb the baby gets stronger, but it's hard when daughter gets her hopes up for going into labor and then ... NOT. Actually, the 9th month is a waiting game for almost every pregnancy... she's doing fine.

I tend to "google" a lot, in my never ending quest for information... a recent combination of words found me the blog of a neonatal doctor, and I found it very interesting reading. He seems over-all to be thoughtful, well educated (obviously), and compassionate

"..The mother of the slightly premature baby was very nice and had seemed to have her life together, in spite of the fact that her other children were not in her custody. We were a bit surprised, then, when on the day of the baby's discharge two women we had never seen before walked to his bedside with clothes and a car seat for him...

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She's frustrated...

Daughter is getting good medical care - and I am proud that she is still at the hospital.

Overall, she's been treated very compassionately... Yesterday the "boyfriend" finally left the hospital, but due to his camping out there for a few days, she is now restricted to the floor. Other patients can come and go for short trips downstairs, and she could too, last week ... she's frustrated and understands, but still is chafing at the bit. She made a good point that she is staying there voluntarily, and since there is no restriction on her visitors if she was trying to score in the hospital, she could... I took the day off and spent most of the day with her yesterday, trying to keep her spirits up

Yesterday morning the doctor discussed inducing her, but first wanted to do an amniocentesis to check that the baby's lungs were mature. The test came back that the lungs may not be quite ready. That was a disappointment to all. The procedure was not pleasant for her, but she handled it very well. She started contracting after the procedur for about an hour, then her uterus calmed down.

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The watch continues

The watch continues... I am happy to report that she is still in the hospital, and reality seems to be sinking in. I am glad for that, very glad...

It's sad, too. She is showing an emotion that I haven't seen in her for over a year: Shame. That's a valid thing for her to feel - and it's painful.

She tried to cut back to 5 mg of methadone a day, but she didn't do well - she was disappointed, but the Dr convinced her to do 10mg a day for the next 4 days, and then maybe a lower dose - She does seem to be really thinking of the baby now, and the effects on him, with/without the methadone - another good sign. She was pretty emotional yesterday.

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Venting...

Grrr - I let her get to me... One thing I've learned about heroin addicts is not to take the hurtful things they do personally. It's not always easy to do, especially when the addict is your daughter and knows which buttons to push. So I let down my guard and BAM!

We went to see her yesterday - she's been moved to the antepartum section of Labor & Delivery - her IV's & catheter have been taken out, and they are only putting fetal monitor on twice a day for 20 minutes... My first thought was "oh shit... she could just walk out of here" - Anyway - we took her a care package with basic toiletries, some books, snacks, word puzzles, coloring book & crayon, a teddy bear - the type of comfort things that a parent knows their child likes.

She told us about a visit with hospital social worker she had - she understands she will not be taking baby home with her, and that CPS will be involved, and she'll have A LOT of work to do before she would be able to have custody of her baby.

She doesn't seem very concerned, or upset. Her biggest concern seems to be finding someone to bring "boyfriend" to the hospital. The one who has already lost 3 children to CPS. The one who has been on heroin for 10 years. None of this is surprising, just disheartening. It's not a good sign... a friend reminded me, bluntly, that "she ain't in there 'cause she wants help, she's in there 'cause she ran out of her fix..." - I'm pretty sure no one who cares about her is going to take him to the hospital - if he makes it on his own, there isn't anything we can do about it...

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In Hospital

Daughter called me yesterday morning a little after 9 because she was "sick" - with withdrawal. She and "boyfriend" both - not because they decided to quit, but because her car broke down.

I convinced her to let her dad drive her to the hospital in Terrel (1/2 way between us) - They ended up care-flighting her to Baylor Medical Center in Dallas, because of the high-risk pregnancy and they have a level 3 NICU. Before she was transported she'd started having contractions. She had "all kinds of things going on..." per the nurse

When we got to Baylor about an hour later, they wouldn't let us in to see her - finally the doctor came to talk to us and explained that she had been very combative, they almost used restraints, but once they got some methadone in her, she settled down. We went in and were relieved to see her calm and comfortable. Hungry, even.

Sonogram shows her to be about 36 weeks, her cervix is still thick, and the contractions seemed to have stopped (magnesium.) I like the Doctor - he would like to keep her and see if she'll go closer to full term and is hoping that "free methadone" will be the incentive for her to stay in the hospital. He said he won't discharge her until the baby is born, but they can't force her to stay... he is also going to get psychiatry involved.

Keep us in your thoughts!

The waiting game...

Still no baby... this waiting sure is nerve wracking.

Just like everything else concerning my daughter this past year, it's frustrating to be so powerless to steer her towards positive outcomes... Babies come when they come, of course, but not knowing how "in tune" my daughter is with her body, where she'll be when labor starts, and how she will react - well... you know.

She and the "boyfriend" seem to be spiraling a bit this past week - scamming money, telling stories, etc... She had a court date last week and drove to Dallas for it ... but didn't go - says it was rescheduled. I've heard that one before.

Last night she told her dad her cell phone got stolen -

I really don't know what she is expecting... whether she really believes she is going to be able to keep this baby that she has made absolutely no plans for, choosing the boyfriend's life and addiction, this boyfriend who has already lost 3 children to CPS, instead. She doesn't really talk about AFTER the baby comes - It could be she expects to hand the baby over... It could be that she will be hurt and angry when we intervene. I really don't know...

Happy 4th, every one ... be safe