Sunday, May 24, 2009

As the World Turns and Stars Align...

I feel quite nauseous.

I knew "boyfriend" got released from jail last week... and just got notice from Vines Link that my daughter got bailed out today. The baby is at the other grandparent's house, in the county where they both are, together... "Boyfriend" was spotted there the other day.

Pretty sure they, the other grandparents, bailed her out. No one else is that careless, or can afford it.

I just feel sick. She's not ready. I hate them.


Lou said...

Shit!! I pray you get that baby back.

Athena said...

Thank you, Lou.

Everyone seems to think I am exaggerating - I so hope so. She has a court date on Thursday... so...

WHY would they do this? It was his family that bailed her out - confirmed.

Annette said...

Well if they are thoroughly entrenched in their own disease of co-dependence...they think they are helping. I'm sorry Athena. I will be praying that you get baby boy back safe and sound and that the BF's family's enabling does not prolong your daughter's journey. How fricking frustrating. I have been repeating the Serenity Prayer all day. It reminds me that the only thing I can change is myself and the choices I make, the responses I share.

Isle Dance said...

I am ((so)) thinking of you.

Fractalmom said...

Jesus GOD !! Keep in touch and let me know what happens, and if they don't return the baby on time, call cops!!

or, if you think the parents are there, isn't that a violation of the custody order? can you call authorities to go check and see if parents are in the house and have baby removed if they are?

Athena said...

The only violation would be "unsupervised" visits or staying overnight in their house - nothing I can prove... and, the authorities won't do anything unless I have facts.

We pick him up this evening at 7:30pm... I pray.

I have not heard a word from my daughter - her letters from jail where so full of sh*t... I pretty much knew that, but felt that if we continued our communication, something would sink in. But, obviously, no. (within the past few weeks "boyfriend" has gotten out of jail and been arrested again for burglary of a building - and released again!! That's her "man", who she chooses over her child)

That she immediately went with him and his, without even a phone call, tells me all that I need to know. ABOUT ALL OF THEM. (which, I really already knew, didn't I? So, I feel pretty stupid on top of everything else)

Fractalmom said...

stop. you are not stupid. you just, once more, believed in your daughter. it's really hard. i know.

my daughter consistently picked heroin over her children, which is why i took them away from her.

and, why i call it King Heroin. you know this.

the only SAFE and SANE thing to do is totally detach.

it is very different from the others who are primarily concerned with their childrens recovery.

you, and I, and any other parent who has grandchildren being born and/or raised by a heroin addict have to either forget the grandchild's welfare, or forget our own kids welfare and recovery.

i chose to abandon my daughter in preference to her children. I have been vilified for that. so be it.

I have said that i don't care anymore if she lives or dies. i have been vilified for that as well. so be that too.

i have taken enormous responsibility for the raising of her two (and if CPS takes the 2 year old away) possibly three children.

I don't want people to pat me on the back. I don't want recognized. I just want to be left alone to raise the grandchildren to NOT turn out like their parents.

I want to devote all my energy to the grandkids because after 10 years or so, I don't have much energy left.

you are about at that point. you don't have the energy to continue to worry about your daughter, where she is, what she is doing, is she using, is she healthy, is she anything at all.

so please. just stop. for the sanity of you, for norm, for your other children, for the baby.

It is VERY different from being the parent of a heroin addict. Being the custodial grandparent of the CHILD of a heroin addict changes the whole dynamics.

No one else gets that. They won't until/unless it happens to them.

Yes, for those who don't know me, it WAS a hard choice. Yes, it still hurts. But I MADE the choice and I MADE myself just simply not care. by lying to myself over and over that I dont' care anymore. finally, i just simply didn't.

its a very sad road. a hard road. but if you do not detach and abandon her, you WILL go crazy.

as always, just MY opinion.

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