Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Little Bird...

I have always loved Fiddler On The Roof ... My daughter watched it often with me, and loved it too. We also watched Jesus Christ Super Star, Hair, The King & I. Often. We had so many small joys in common and I cherished snuggling up to watch a classic, or discussing books we read. I suppose I am a bit melancholy right now - It happens. Some things that I do without her now, that we used to do together, have such a different meaning than when she was safe beside me.

This scene reminds me so much of her... if you haven't seen the movie, hard to explain, but I think many of us can relate to the sentiment. A parent's pain & confusion when a child goes against all they had hoped for the child.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Well, That'll Teach Her...

Well - My daughter finally had her "day in court" for heroin possession. And the verdict is.... Deferred Adjudication. I hope that makes sense one day to the people who love and care for her.
On a happier note - baby has a laptop now so he can work like I do :-)

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Short respite

I highly recommend taking a break, even a small one :-)

Baby is with other grandparents, and husband and I both took time from work to have a long weekend - and took a road trip - Left Friday, back Saturday. In our case, the where wasn't so important - just the fact that the two of us got away, alone. Very nice. Highly recommended.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Alive and supposedly well

Well, a family member recently saw daughter - said says she actually looks pretty well.

Her reason for not contacting me apparently is

1. I am too hard on her
2. First time I saw her out of jail I did not hug her (see Baby Steps)
3. My blog here has put her life on display

Sigh. Family member also reports that the real truth is likely she prefers to surround herself with people who feed into her BS. Sadly, I must agree. This would be the "boyfriend's" family.

But. I am glad if she really is doing well. I would be happy to shout from rooftops, mountains, blogs the good news - a recovery story - a happy ending. [A new beginning]

Until then, I'll post as I see fit - what I feel, what I believe, what I know... what I think may help other parents and addicts. I don't know any other way to do it.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

A week can seem so looooong

It's been an intense past 7 days... I've been rattled a bit. I keep reading about people taking vacations... longingly... we love to travel and used to do so, but with baby, work, etc, we knew it would be "less" this year - but I think we do need a get away weekend. Soon.

Last night my sweet husband came home early from work, which just never happens, very ill - he was shivering like crazy, and despite ibuprofen, his fever continued to rise. When it jumped to 103.3 f we knew he had to go to clinic - The nanny had just reported that her son had flu and she would be home with him for two days, so I was so worried about Husband, he just never gets sick, and also concerned about the baby and others in house catching it. Good News/Bad News - Not the flu - But husband has pneumonia :-( and feels awful... I think worse for him is he had to stay home and he worries about his clients - worse for me is trying to make him rest. He got a big shot and is on antibiotics. OH - and, this morning he had an allergic reaction to the codeine cough medicine prescribed. Poor Big Guy. Did I mention that my day yesterday started with a one-year check up for Baby - he's doing great, yay! But he had to get shots and so has been a bit cranky. Poor little guy. Laughing and playing and jabbering away and then someone pokes him in both thighs - that really really hurt his feelings.

I empathize completely. Sometimes things happen that just so do not make sense and can't be explained and certainly do not seem fair at all.

Last Wednesday afternoon, I was sitting at my desk doing my thing... Husband had just gotten home from work - Baby was with the other grandparents, life normal (as normal as our life is, normally, anyway, ha ha. ) You know from last posts daughter has been on my mind - so stage is set:

Another daughter knocks on bedroom/office door and tells me that a -- County constable is at the door asking for me. Well. I fell apart almost immediately. -- County is where my daughter "lives" and where the baby goes when other grand-parents have visits, so I just knew that I was about to hear that they had found my daughter's body or something had happened to the baby. How I made it to the door, I do not know...