Monday, October 25, 2010

Quiet time... Not Likely

I have been waiting for some solitude to put in an update and do justice to the whole complicated situation. But, I don't really see any solitude or quiet moments of reflection in the near future... that is not a negative in many ways - the time away from the demands of my job is best spent with my husband and Landon and the children who are running the typical gamut of young adulthood... and, it is my pleasure to be involved in the "normal" madness.

We recently celebrated my eldest son's 30th birthday and his engagement to his long time girlfriend. Such a wonderful thing... enjoyed time spent with my 2nd eldest daughter, discussing her challenges with her pre-teen sons and her precocious 5 year old... 3rd eldest is preparing for deployment to Afghanistan and that makes time with him important... 4th eldest daughter has flown the nest and it is fascinating watching her balance work and "life" and how well she seems to be doing it... the youngest daughter is one of the most responsible young ladies I have ever met... not only taking classes and working, but also dedicated to Landon as much as any parent ever was dedicated to a child - she has been with him since day one, and actually we have to help her remember to make time for herself.

And then, there is our addicted one... my youngest, our second to youngest, the subject of this blog... (Norm and I each have three children from previous marriage.) She has been sentenced to State Jail for at least 6 months... she may also get additional time for heroin possession charge that she was on probation for out of different county. "Boyfriend" also got some state jail time - 8 months - for the endangerment to a child charge. Ironically, if he hadn't involved Kaylee in his get-away attempt, I think he'd probably be out again already. My daughter now has a longer rap sheet than he does. I really have difficulty wrapping my head around that. It is what it is...

CPS sent us a letter only last week, a form letter, thanking us for our interest and advising that they investigated the situation and found no basis for a case. Yes - Mom and Dad are both in jail, baby was involved in a crime, everything is OK! I can't really wrap my brain around that one either. Kaylee does seem to be ok for the time being - she is crawling now. We see her when we exchange Landon with the other grandparents, and my 2nd eldest daughter has brought her to visit a couple of times when she watched her for a day or a weekend.

I haven't heard a word from my daughter - unlike all other times, she has not written me even to ask for money. I have written her a couple of times just to let her know I love her and to send her the "Rescue this Child" poem. What else is there to say that hasn't been said in other letters to her in lock-up? It may finally be shame she is feeling - I know she bonded with Kaylee. I don't think it is my place right now to add to that... and if she isn't feeling remorse, what would be the point of communicating any other message? I think she probably wasn't using, except maybe started again shortly before the arrest in August. I have heard there was friction between her and "boyfriend" because he had been using... All I know for sure is she was arrested again - with him - and allowed her daughter to be put in harm's way.

I think I was almost hoping she would get out as in the past and have time with her daughter without "boyfriend" calling the shots - but really, it isn't just his influence on her. It's the whole situation and the decisions she has made - if not him, there is no reason at this point to think there would be anything to keep her from continuing to make poor decisions

And... Life goes on. It's not all bad, it's mostly good. And for now, I know where everyone is and that they are safe (relatively speaking.)

Landon is officially in his "terrible twos" ... meaning, he's hitting all of the landmarks and is doing well. Look at that face and that smile - Who needs solitude? Ok, Ok... anyway, when it's calm, we are usually sleeping :-)