Baby is back here with us...
Did I over-react? No. His parents are addicts and the other grandparents do not know how to say no to them, but will go to great lengths to cover up.
Not sure what happened, except they bailed my daughter out so she could be with their son - we were scheduled to pick the baby up tonight at 7:30pm - The other grandmother called about 11 am to ask if we could meet their daughter at 12:30pm to get the baby - supposedly grandpa wasn't feeling well. Maybe they realized they'd been conned - I don't know. My daughter hasn't called me, still. Which is fine. Her actions speak pretty clearly. She was straight, in jail anyway, and still manipulating anyone who will let her.
Fractal mom is right... what I want for my daughter and what I can actually do for my daughter right now don't seem to have much in common, except where not "playing" the game, not "saving" her, not enabling her, and keeping Baby safe are the right things to do.