Yesterday, my daughter turned 22. Amazing. I am Thankful that she is still alive, and am grateful for a chance to see her today after so many months of "not knowing" - It is a gift to me each time I can hold her and tell her that I love her, and that I believe in her strength.
She seems to be at a fork in the road - she's been here before, yes - but for her birthday, as a gift, I am believing in her. While she was here she made a call to Nexus Recovery. They do not have a detox bed until possibly Wednesday, and a counselor will call her then. I pray she is still determined on Wednesday.
I also spoke with a kind soul, Doug Y., from the Dallas chapter of Heroin Anonymous; it just means so much when you get a call from somewhere like that and they are "real" - I felt the care in his voice, and it meant so much.
And then I read Cassie's blog and I cried.
I am doing this mobile, so not sure if I can add recent pictures of Landon until tomorrow... But I do have a video to share from last week. He is healthy and happy and a joy to all. I have recently seen Landon's "Sissy" Kaylee. She is staying with the other grandparents, and is healthy, sweet and sassy - much like her mother at that age (almost 2!) - She and Landon are very close and that is a joy to me.
I better go to bed - but on this special day I wanted to put forward some encouraging and loving words to my daughter. I hope you all are able to take the time this week to give thanks for the small gifts that surround us every day.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
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15 comments:
I'm happy for you. You have a really great attitude about this whole thing. For me, it's over. I see you know to keep moving forward and being hopeful. I think that's all there is.
Some days are better than others - Birthdays especially remind me of all of the promise that exists, if only she could escape Heroin (and other bad decisions)
~Hugs
Cassie, I just read your blog post for Nov 21... And I hope everyone else will, too. If I could hug you really, I would
Happy Birthday to your girl, my boy is turning 21 soon. I've been reading Cassie's blog too and I've looked at every day differently since "meeting" her.
I can't believe how big Landon has gotten, he's adorable.
Athena, your family and the kids are often on my mind. I'm grateful they have caring, loving people in their lives.
I hope your daughter makes a positive choice. We know someday she will regret having missed this time with her children. But then we all have regrets..and we all have the chance to make amends for them each new day.
Love, Lou
Indeed, Lou... Today I will not regret. My daughter spent the day here with us. She's a bit "homeless" right now. Which is possibly harder emotionally on me than on her. She has burned a lot of bridges, and there was some akwardness, but I believe she is serious about getting clean. ("Boyfriend" got arrested again yesterday, and so he'll be forced to detox and do some time) - It was arranged for the weekend she will stay at her dad's. She'll go to Nexus in person Monday, and we discussed alternatives if they still don't have room.
I just saw this text from her: "I made it ok. I love u so much! Thank u 4everything. I'll call u 2morow. Glad we got to visit n especially enjoyed our talk"
Yes. Today will carry us both, I hope. (Cassie, she also read your 11/21 blog post about Duane.)
I just found your blog. I feel so befuddled as to what to say here. I read the changeling poem and I cannot stop crying. I'm sorry. I just wanted to let you know that I'm here and I'm your newest follower and your strength in the face of this amazes me.
Welcome Jenn.
Any updates on how your daughter is doing? I hope that a bed opened up for her at Nexus Recovery.
Best,
Dawn Jackson
Online Community Engagement
dawn@patmoorefoundation.com
I hope she's still heading in the direction of change. Are you doing ok?
Dawn, Cassie - all - I am sorry I have not posted updates. I keep meaning to! Brief one here: She *is* doing well.
She did get into Nexus - and then on the 2nd night of detox checked herself out a story in itself, there. She proceeded to wreck her car on the way out and basically hit her proverbial rock bottom, I think. A few days later she called them and they took her back in. She only stayed 2-3 weeks, but that was due to not having insurance at the time... She is on suboxone under a doctors care, and just started a job, which is major.
She feels guilty being on suboxone, and has had some negative comments by the other family about the fact that she is taking it - but both myself and the doctor have done our best to remind her "doing it your way" over the past 4 years has not worked... so taking it one day at a time.
The kids are doing great. Unbeknownst to me she signed an agreed joint custody petition in Aug 2010 for little Kaylee, with the other grandparents. She is regretting that but also knows that Kaylee is ok, and to take that a step at a time as well. The other grand-mother I really believe does care about my daughter, and her bond with Kaylee. (No comment on the underhanded tactics of the rest)
A big part of her success, I do believe, is the fact that the "boyfriend" is in state custody... I won't be able to not worry once he gets out. But she has signaled that she is serious about staying clean and not focusing on him, and I am hopeful, hopeful, hopeful that she stays on track and doesn't let ANYONE sabatoge her progress.
I WILL post an update and some pictures, soon...and fix the pictures in this post. And catch up on your blogs... promise.
Thank you all for keeping us in your thoughts.
I often read your posts but rarely comment, I just wanted to say thank you for what you do.
I often read your posts but rarely comment, I just wanted to say thank you for what you do.
Each day does get better. One step at a time. I have been there. I will be Celebrating my 1 year of Sobriety this August.
Stop by my blog sometime:
http://forbehindtheseeyes.wordpress.com/
Hugs
Happy birthday to your daughter. My thoughts are with you that she does want to continue to detox. Addiction is emotionally exhausting, as I'm sure you know. We do need to be grateful for the simple things that happen each day. Take care and best of luck to you,
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