Thursday, July 17, 2008

What do you think?

Sooo Close - night before last Dr told my daughter he'd do a sonogram Thursday (today) and maybe induce on Friday... Alas, after sonogram this morning he decided to wait til next week... which is what he said earlier this week. I agree that everyday in the womb the baby gets stronger, but it's hard when daughter gets her hopes up for going into labor and then ... NOT. Actually, the 9th month is a waiting game for almost every pregnancy... she's doing fine.

I tend to "google" a lot, in my never ending quest for information... a recent combination of words found me the blog of a neonatal doctor, and I found it very interesting reading. He seems over-all to be thoughtful, well educated (obviously), and compassionate

"..The mother of the slightly premature baby was very nice and had seemed to have her life together, in spite of the fact that her other children were not in her custody. We were a bit surprised, then, when on the day of the baby's discharge two women we had never seen before walked to his bedside with clothes and a car seat for him...



"Excuse me", I said, "but who are you and how are you related to the baby?" It turned out they were the maternal grandmother and aunt of the baby.


"May I ask why you're here, and where the mom is?"


"She's in jail", the grandmother said quietly.


Unsure of what to say next - it's not often we have to reply to the statement that someone's in jail -I finally asked "What's she in jail for?"


The grandmother paused, and finally said, with a mixture of sheepishness and frustration, "Lots of things."


Clearly, a rapid consult with our social worker was needed, and fortunately after a bit of checking, we were able to send the baby home with grandmother. A fair number of our kids are raised by their grandmothers, because their moms are not up to the task, and I often wonder if that's a good thing. Many people seem reassured by the grandmothers' maturity and experience with babies. But aren't these grandmothers the same ones who raised the mother who is now deemed unable to care for her child? Do we have any assurance that she'll do a better job with this child?


Of course not. But it's a safe haven, and that, today, is the best we can get for many kids..." (neonataldoc.blogspot.com/2006_02_01_archive.html)

Um, OUCH. I would hope that most medical professionals are a bit more knowledgable than that. I have personally known families where horrible parents end up with a child that never get into trouble, and excellent parents whose child gets involved with drugs... Of my own children, I have one who has a doctorate degree and another who is an addict. I didn't raise them differently.

One another note, my googling also turned up the Zaky... pillows that are apparently utilized frequently in NICU's, and I think they're great:







Peace.

11 comments:

Laura said...

Athena....yes, Ouch is right. It's the same old thing....pointing fingers so often at the parents. I will keep you, your dtr, and little one in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs.

Laura said...

Oh yeah...LOVE, LOVE, LOVE those pillows! I wonder if they have them in adult sizes...lol.

Fractalmom said...

oh yeah. i visited that dr's blog. oh yeah.

Athena said...

Lara - I bought two, lol... baby-sized

Fractalmom... I bet you did! It's an old post, but I'm sure others "stumble" across it, too, and they should benefit from hearing "the other side of the story..."

~hugs all~

Athena said...

My daughter just called - The Doctor told her this morning that they will induce Tuesday morning about 7am...

Lou said...

Another case of too many initials after the name, and too little common sense.

Athena--I say f**** 'em.

pat said...

That doctor is an ass. On another note, those pillows are adorable.

pat said...

Oh I forgot. Tuesday is my youngest son's birthday.He will be 25y.

Fractalmom said...

WHOOOOO HOOOOOOO !!!!!

kel said...

Athena,

Just checking in, hope all is well, you are in my thoughts...

~kel

Laura said...

Hi there...

you and your dtr are in my thoughts and prayers...