Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Just When You Least Expect It ....

I swear, I was going to post something - something good. I swear it - and I had come THIS close to accepting that me blogging something positive would not "jinx" any thing... I guess I learned for sure that my daughter's situation happens whether I weigh in or not, or... or... Just thinking about writing something positive is enough to tilt the world on it's axis.

Truth is, I wanted to say I thought she was doing well - I have seen her a few times, briefly, when she has ridden along with the other grandparents when it was time to exchange Landon for his visits.  She looked good - I've seen more of Kaylee because my other daughter was babysitting her while A went to work. To Work! She was working - I was excited about that. So, when I have seen her she's looked  - well, like a tired mom. But what I have worried about is I haven't seen or heard much of anything about "the boyfriend" - and I still believe anyone who chooses his life chooses trouble. I would really like to be wrong about that.

Anyway - short of it is they are both in jail as of last Wednesday. Caught shoplifting is what my daughter told me when she finally called me because... well, because that's the only time I really hear from her.. and since no one got her out before she finally called me.  I will never get over how hard it is to take those calls. Anyway, she told me she hadn't talked to anyone. She was deperate to get out "cause I have to go to work" - I got off the phone, took a breath... then...


I went to the county website and did an inmate search, found her... then I found him. His charge?  ABANDON ENDANGER CHILD CRIMINAL NEGLIGENCE  - among other things. She called back shortly and I asked her to tell me what happened. She made it sound like no big deal - "Boyfriend" took off running from the police holding 5 month old Kaylee. She said his brother had the baby at the time she called..

What would you have done? I called CPS. I'm finding out 2-3 days after the fact, and just the day before we had handed Landon over for his weekend with the other grandparents. It didn't add up to anything re-assuring, that's for sure. I found out soon enough that the other grandparents knew, and said nothing. My oldest daughter even - she knew, and said nothing. A lot of people knew. Just not me or Norm.

We met the other grandmother yesterday, to pick Landon up. The first thing she said was "Did you call CPS?" I told her we did. What I should have said is "Yes, didn't you???"  She said she'd wished we'd given them her work number, they'd called her cell and left a message. (?) ... She hadn't spoken with them yet, only had a voicemail, and was pretty dismissive of the siuation: "They just weren't thinking..."

At the same time I was in parking lot talking to her, someone texted me that the grandparents were planning on going to the jail to get a signature from Amanda so they could "enroll Kaylee in daycare."

Anyway - it was the 6th when we found out and called CPS. We haven't heard anything...
 Apparently case was closed after CPS was called when Kaylee was born in February, and no one was monitoring my daughter, "boyfriend," or their baby Kaylee. I have cried all I can cry, written all I can write to investigators in past CPS cases. In case any of them read this blog:

"I want to know the children are safe. Please drug test them. If Kaylee is placed I would like to have visits with her, I would like to see her and her brother spending time together.  The parents have not fulfilled the plan CPS drew up over 2 years ago when Landon was born. I understand they tested clean when Kaylee was born (the had spent 5 months in jail.) I wanted it to work, too.  My daughter's "Boyfriend" has had 4-5 other children removed from him before he met my daughter.  THEY WERE IN A WALMART, IN DALLAS, STEALING, WITH A 5 MONTH OLD. On a day when the weather was 104 degrees.  I understand my daughter and her "boyfriend" did not list me as a contact to come get Kaylee, even though I was minutes away. Please just remember why: I would have called CPS. (There is no one else to call in this case.) I also would have gone and picked her up, and kept her safe for as long as we were asked to. The other grandparents probably won't explain that there are 2 sets of loving grandparents - because last time there was a safety plan, my husband and I took it serious. Landon is safe. Please protect Kaylee."

I believe my daughter has bonded to and loves Kaylee. I know Kaylee is very likely trying to understand where her Mom is - and her Aunt who has been babysitting even. This whole situation is heartbreaking. I wish I could hug her and keep her safe and tell her it will all be ok. I wish I could hug my daughter, too.


July 2010 at the "half way point"


and Heeeree's Landon - 2 years old on 7/24/2010:




13 comments:

BMelonsLemonade said...

It breaks my heart. I just wonder how people can put their children in such situations. And I understand how someone can get themself into those situations. I understand all to well. I am so thankful I had children after I discovered drugs, battled with them for years, and came out clean on the other side. I have friends from the past that have done similar things with their children. In my using days, I witnessed several instances with addict's children that did not even phase me then, but I did not have kids and I was an an addict. As a mother, I often think back on those things with a rock wrenching at my stomach. And sometimes, I worry that maybe they felt just like I did when their kids were still in diapers. I know in my heart that I am miles away from all that shit. My life is really falling into place, although there are bumps along the way that would have been devestating years ago and now I just roll right through. But I know I must be vigilant, because I am close to that edge by nature. When I hear stories like this, I look up and thank the heavens that I had my child after I had been COMMITTED to clean for some years. And we all know that COMMITTED to clean is very different than just "clean." I am so thankful now that I am where I am to have been raised by a strong mother, and I only hope I can be a strong mother too. You are a strong mother.

LisaC said...

My heart breaks for the children (who are so resilient and will survive this, but should not have to); and for you to even have to be in this. My thoughts and prayers are with and for you.

Fractalmom said...

oh my. I hope you have been keeping a diary.

I think I would digitize it (nevermind, I know you and you already have), send it to CPS, and ALSO send it to the judges involved, the Guardian Ad Litem's (if any) and the Attorney General, the prosecutor on the child endangerment charges, etc.

and I would make sure that EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEIR NAMES SHOW UP CLEARLY IN THE CC: LINE.

That should open a big old huge can of worms, regardless of which county is involved (since the AG's office oversee's all of them simultaneously), and put an end to all this stupid Texas shit of this county does it this way and that county does it THAT way...and this is bullshit when the baby is the one at risk!!!

but hey, that's just me. I might even go to the press with a carefully worded (with personal info not involed) interview on how the Child Protective Agencies in the different counties do NOT do their jobs, do not work together for the benefit of the children, and do NOT protect children at risk because they are too worried about jurisdiction. I would think the major paper in the major county would be very interested in something along those lines, just because there are so many children affected by Cheese right now.

Course, I am a radical rabble rouser..and you know how we can be :)

Annette said...

Ugh....I'm SO sorry. ((HUG))

Anna said...

It seems like we should be able to save the children when there are responsible family members willing to help! I am so sorry that all of this has happened to you.

Barbara said...

Oh Sweetie, this was hard to read about. I hope CPS gets their act together and does what is BEST for this precious little baby. She and Landon are both such cutie pies. Maybe they will keep boyfriend locked up for a long time and give your daughter a chance to figure out she should dump his sorry ass. :( Sending you a hug.

Syd said...

I too hope that the innocent children aren't harmed. They need protection and haven't been given a choice in any of this because they are so young. They are the ones that make me sad.

Briar said...

So sorry you're dealing with this. I know that feeling of not wanting to jinx things. Seems like the universe likes to pick those moments to just give you a good old-fashioned smack-down.

My heart goes out to you, and to Kaylee.

pat said...

It was hard to read this post but I am you wrote it because you need to get this stuff out. Who has the baby now? Grandparents? Parents who protect their adult children engaging in distructive behaviors are not helping them but keeping them comfortable. They do not need to be caring for an infant. Hugs.

yaya said...

Like getting punched in the stomach isn't it? And just when you were beginning to exhale. Stay strong and do what you know you must. It's all about the babies!Show them what a Grandmama Lion you can be.
You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers.

Kristi (Jake's Mom) said...

There's just no excuse that's acceptable where the well being of children are involved. Your blog was the second one I came across when I found this blog community...I've been following along and keeping you in prayer since earlier this year. Keep fighting the good fight, someone has to, right? Praying for you, your precious grandbabies and your daughter!
Kristi (also in the Dallas area)

Tori said...

Thank Goodness these precious babies have you on their side.

Cheri said...

Athena,

I have been out of pocket, so I am just now seeing your post. I am so sorry for the trial you are going through. Please know we are praying for you and your husband, your grandchildren, and your daughters . . . for all concerned. It is truly heartbreaking what drugs can do to a family.

Praying,
Cheri