Grrr - I let her get to me... One thing I've learned about heroin addicts is not to take the hurtful things they do personally. It's not always easy to do, especially when the addict is your daughter and knows which buttons to push. So I let down my guard and BAM!
We went to see her yesterday - she's been moved to the antepartum section of Labor & Delivery - her IV's & catheter have been taken out, and they are only putting fetal monitor on twice a day for 20 minutes... My first thought was "oh shit... she could just walk out of here" - Anyway - we took her a care package with basic toiletries, some books, snacks, word puzzles, coloring book & crayon, a teddy bear - the type of comfort things that a parent knows their child likes.
She told us about a visit with hospital social worker she had - she understands she will not be taking baby home with her, and that CPS will be involved, and she'll have A LOT of work to do before she would be able to have custody of her baby.
She doesn't seem very concerned, or upset. Her biggest concern seems to be finding someone to bring "boyfriend" to the hospital. The one who has already lost 3 children to CPS. The one who has been on heroin for 10 years. None of this is surprising, just disheartening. It's not a good sign... a friend reminded me, bluntly, that "she ain't in there 'cause she wants help, she's in there 'cause she ran out of her fix..." - I'm pretty sure no one who cares about her is going to take him to the hospital - if he makes it on his own, there isn't anything we can do about it...
What *really* got to me was her saying she wants the baby to be placed with either her "boyfriend's" parents or the family that cps placed his other children with! She's playing a dangerous game here; either she is just doing this to "punish" me, or she is hoping the baby will be placed where she and boyfriend can have easier access to him (found out the baby is a boy) - or both. His parents do not want to take this baby, and neither the "boyfriend" or his parents have access at all to his other children - his parental rights were terminated!
So - No real enlightenment. Nothing we can do until the baby is born - I'm assuming CPS doesn't put much weight on what the addicts wishes are - we have spoken to an attorney and are ready to act when the baby is born... Most importantly, I need to keep in mind that she is an addict and NOTHING she is doing right now is right. We are fortunate that she is under medical care right now, and hope that she will stay there until the baby is born, and I need to remain realistic about WHY she is there... a fix.
(She also told the Dr that she wants to begin weaning off of the methadone - which sounded encouraging at first, but now I can't help wondering if her "plan" is to get the boyfriend or someone else to bring her the real stuff? Sigh.)
Thanks everyone for the thoughts and prayers... I'm hoping she goes into labor soon, where she and the baby are safe