Friday, July 11, 2008

The watch continues

The watch continues... I am happy to report that she is still in the hospital, and reality seems to be sinking in. I am glad for that, very glad...

It's sad, too. She is showing an emotion that I haven't seen in her for over a year: Shame. That's a valid thing for her to feel - and it's painful.

She tried to cut back to 5 mg of methadone a day, but she didn't do well - she was disappointed, but the Dr convinced her to do 10mg a day for the next 4 days, and then maybe a lower dose - She does seem to be really thinking of the baby now, and the effects on him, with/without the methadone - another good sign. She was pretty emotional yesterday.

She is now 37 weeks, so she has reached "full term", which is very good. We've talked about the hard work she has after the baby is born ... that there can be no compromises, no quick fixes, no BS. I so hope that she is finally ready to get clean, and stay clean.


Fractalmom said...

the normal and accepted procedure is to maintain a dose so there is no fetal distress. It would probably be a good idea to explain that to her. There is much fetal distress. There is a link on DHAM to the effects of methadone during pregnancy on the fetus.

she sounds like the emotional 'dulling' that she is used to is wearing off.

The hard work is true.

I hope she is finally ready too. Don't get your hopes up, and don't believe ANYTHING. That boyfriend is insiduous...and she is as hooked to him as the heroin.

And again, it is not safe for her to take that baby home. Junkies need at least two years to be considered clean, and those two years need to be OFF methadone, or suboxone, or any other 'substitute', and attending a 12 step program faithfully, getting a job and keeping it, getting a car and keeping it, getting a house and keeping it, having health insurance...

THEN, you can start to believe. Not totally believe, because the two years doesn't really mean all that much, ask any of the addicts who read your blog. You can relapse at any time.

The bad thing about heroin is that, well, any drug really, alcohol, cocaine, crystal meth, or heroin, is that you CANNOT SAFELY FUNCTION. You cannot reliably parent. Your children are not safe.

I really hate this. I feel like I am the proverbial black cloud in our group LOL. Always against the junkie kids. I'm not really.

It's just that my priority had to change when the kids got involved. I had to choose to either protect the kids from my own daughter or let some stranger raise the kids and help my daughter.

Still, it feels really weird to have all the others say how far they will go to help their child...and know that I won't take one more single step down that road.

No, it doesn't feel weird. It hurts.

pat said...

Still in my thoughts and sending my support.

Athena said...

Thank you, Pat - You and yours are in my thoughts as well

Fractal Mom - The truth is often a bit of a downer, or a "black cloud"... BUT, keep delivering it.

Let me start out by saying "THE %*&%^%#&^ BOYFRIEND SPENT THE NIGHT WITH HER AND IS STILL THERE!"

I am so pissed off. HIs mother supposedly drove him into Dallas and dropped him off. Without a ride. Dumped him. And, while the hospital is one of the best, it happens to be located smack in the middle of East Dallas where they score their heroin!

My daughter called me bright and early because when she signed to go outside for a "walk", the nurse told her the doctor had put orders that she was only to go out once a day, and only in a weelchair... To which I say "bravo!" She's 18, and Apparently they are concerned about the presence of the boyfriend, too.

No, I'm not (nor was) lulled into a false sense of security about my daughter's ability to care for her baby... I feel exactly as you do - the baby is the one who needs protecting, and we plan to make sure that he is. In fact, we are the only ones involved that we know will not compromise or relax our guard or be manipulated by her.

She won't be even close to starting the hard work until she finally understands that getting clean must begin with getting that "boyfriend" out of her life. He's not a nice kid that deserves empathy. He's a man who has been addicted for 10 years, got his previous girlfriend /wife addicted, and with her lost 3 children already to CPS... He's a theif who is in and out of jail, doesn't work, doesn't have a car or a home ... and has parents that can't say no to him.


Lou said...

I have confidence in the hospital staff.This is not the first time they've dealt with this.That said, they are not police,and can go so far as daughter has her "rights" and is an adult.If she decides to take off with dumbfriend,they can't stop her.

FractalMom-we need your voice of reason.I for one am still easily duped by my junky.

My continued prayers...