Monday, October 15, 2012

The Good and the Bad

Geez, it's been a long time! And I never did fix the pictures I tried to post the last time from my iphone, so I am posting some new ones here.

Not much to say, except it's been very much like a winding road - My daughter was doing well; she did go to rehab, but once out went back to doing things "her way" - and for a while, it was ok. She had a job and got promoted even - she was a good mother to Kaylee and visited with Landon when she could... the "boyfriend" was in jail for much of the time.

But the last few months she's fallen behind. A new boyfriend - guess I can call him BF2 - and meth. and guns. Lovely lovely. All coalesced into an arrest this weekend - that's the short of it.

Her OB/GYN called trying to get a hold of her today - a health matter - no idea beyond that... I have concerns that you can very well imagine. Maybe this time I am wrong and I hope that I am.

So - The Good:

Landon - A healthy happy 4 year old - Four. Years. Old. :-)

Kaylee - A beautiful, healthy 2 year old.  Not so good: She sure is confused and misses her mama. I am very upset at my daughter for putting anyone before her children. (We don't get to spend much time with Kaylee - we generally see her only when we transfer Landon with his other grand-parents;  Amanda signed custody of Kaylee to them while she was in jail around June on 2010 - I am sure there is a blog post from that period on here somewhere. We didn't know about the custody arrangement at the time - we found out last summer. The other grandparents take good care of her, and are protective of her as far as the adults who have let these children down so far, from what I can tell.  What's hard is Kaylee is old enough to know Landon's routine and wants to come with us when Landon does, and she's just too little to try to understand why she can't - That makes her and me sad. We've discussed with the other grandparents, going forward, letting her come stay with us at least one weekend a month - when she's ready. Right now she never knows where she'll be or who she'll be with, and that is very hard on her.) We did have her for a weekend in late July, and that is when the below picture was taken - she's holding a purple "kitty" that I knit for her ...

I have had an odd "crafty" journey since last Christmas when Norm bought me some foot jewelry that got me interested in "beading" - I amassed quite a lot of supplies, but so far not too many finished projects - I've learned a lot, but thanks to the internet, learning to do the next step in a project tended to lead to other projects, etc etc until I ran accross an article about crocheting with beads - well. I never could figure out crochet, but tried again - I didn't get too far with crochet jewelry though, because: I learned to crochet!! Yarn and crochet hooks? I have them now! And... crocheting led to knitting which I KNEW I couldn't do - but what the heck... I had yarn, so tried and... I can KNIT!  Maybe it's because I am a grammy? I don't know - but what I do know that there is therapy for me in having this "busy-work" to keep my hands moving - and honestly, I think part of the allure is that yarn is something that I can control even if other areas seem out of whack. I think I'll be starting a blog about my craft journey - The name I am thinking of is: If I Can Do It You Can Too. No Seriously.

A few weeks ago I was back to crocheting, and trying to make a flat circle from memory - I accidentally crocheted a heart instead. And it made me smile.

Moving forward, one stich step at a time.

I hope you and yours are all well - I think of you all so often. Mine and Norm's jobs are going fine, another thing to be thankful for - Just busy busy busy busy. I don't have much time for blogging - I sure do *think* a lot though.



Anonymous said...

Hi Athena,
You are a strong woman and i can see how much you love your daughter and care about her well being. I am writing from a tv show and we are looking to help mothers with addictions. Please reach out to me at and I will tell you more about it.

Anonymous said...

Hi Athena,

I am sorry if this is repetitive, but I tried leaving a comment but it did not show up. I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate what you are doing for your daughter. I see how much her well being means to you. I work for a tv show and we are looking to help mothers battling addiction. Please contact me at and I can tell you more.

Dawn McCoy said...

My prayers are with you, now, as always. {{{{Hugs}}}}

Dawn McCoy said...

My prayers are with you, now as always!

luluberoo said...

Athena, you and husband have been on such a roller coaster. I admire your attitude, and the way you have handled the events. Always good to see pictures too--it feels like we "know" these kids (as well as our adult kids). I hope you continue to update on their childhoods as the years go on.


Antoine Lockhart said...

Hell Athena,

That's a little sad of a story but I believe that everything will fall on their right place in time. I can see from your articles how strong your family is to withstand the fight against addiction. If everyone would be just so willing to get cured as your daughter then rehabilitation centres would have an easy job.

Juliet said...

Wow, Athena.. You truly are a strong woman to go through this and still so lovingly talk about your daughter. I'll be saying a prayer for you and your family. I'm hoping that your daughter is doing well now and getting a chance to be as good a mother to her children as you are to her. Your grandchildren are so precious and extremely adorable!

btw, I work with a drug addiction hotline at and we can also help with aftercare or relapse prevention if this does happen again. God willing it doesn't though. Stay strong, mamabear!