I can't tell you the emotions upon seeing the first image of my child's child ... at almost 12 weeks gestation.
I am pro-choice, which means I accept the choice that my daughter made... 'nuff said.
I am a bit frightened about how painful it is too love someone and yet have no control over that person... I have been contemplating that aspect of myself this weekend, and it is helpful to remember the serenity prayer...
My daughter came by before and after the doctor visit last week -
I work from home and was on the phone and didn't get to talk to her much. I didn't quite believe her story about needing extra money for co-pay, but then again, heroin or no she is very poor and so I did give her $20 and my husband took her car to fill it up with gas. He talked to her a bit, and to him she did seem to be clear-headed... THAT was extremely reassuring to me ... he and I are both very familiar with her "heroin eyes".
She used to be so very meticulous in her clothing and cleanliness, and her fashion these days is more like "bag lady"... I hope, I hope, I hope she gets back to herself.
I am bidding on a "lot" of maternity clothes on E-bay... she is extremely petite... I hope that she'll allow me to be a part of this child's life. It is quite a lot to expect from the little one, but maybe this child will save her.
"In old days there were angels who came and took men by the hand and led them away from the city of destruction. We see no white-winged angels now. But yet men are led away from threatening destruction: a hand is put into theirs, which leads them forth gently towards a calm and bright land, so that they look no more backward; and the hand may be a little child's" ~ George Eliot