Sunday, January 13, 2008

I love this one, too

I can't tell you the emotions upon seeing the first image of my child's child ... at almost 12 weeks gestation.

I am pro-choice, which means I accept the choice that my daughter made... 'nuff said.

I am a bit frightened about how painful it is too love someone and yet have no control over that person... I have been contemplating that aspect of myself this weekend, and it is helpful to remember the serenity prayer...

My daughter came by before and after the doctor visit last week -

Monday, January 7, 2008

I just read “Candy” by Luke Davies – a novel about addiction that is very informative about the way heroin addicts think – also, for me, it was chilling in that one of the characters is a beautiful girl who falls in love the main protagonist, an older man who has used heroin for years – and he gets her hooked, also. The irrational thinking, especially about Candy’s pregnancy, seems very apropros to me and was enlightening in a way that I never hoped to need. Supposedly it is now or soon will be a movie - wonder if i'll watch it? I wonder if SHE'LL watch it.

Last I heard anything was on the eve of 12-27. I missed a call at 7pm from a nurse at a hospital in East Tx... The vm said "I just spoke with you about your daughter - she is being released now but doesn't have her cell phone and needs a ride".... Of course, I hadn't talked to anyone there. So I called the hospital and they were a bit confused, then embarrassed - earlier they had talked to her "boyfriend's" mom, and had been told that was the mother... they coouldn't tell me what she had been treated for, due to HIPPA laws. Sooo - that's the last I heard - she hasn't returned any calls or txt messages. Obviously he had her phone and car...

I have been keeping track of her cell phone records - as of New Years day there were several calls to local pawn shops.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

A New Year Awaits

It was an interesting Christmas - A good one, actually, in that I had the whole family here. Including my addicted one.

She called me on the 23rd, sick - she is 8 weeks pregnant and knows that she must quit using, and decided to quit. I have been very firm in the "tough love" department so far, and talked to her about getting treatment. She told me she just wanted to get off of it and then "get on with her life" - Typical addict logic, at least with her. Basically, she was starting to feel the withdrawal effects and wanted her mom. I repeated to her my stance, that I would get her to treatment - she turned that down and hung up.

After thinking about it, my husband and I decided that this might be an opportunity to get through to her that we didn't want to miss, so I called her back and she agreed to give me 7 days, without contact with her "boyfriend" who was supposedly also going through withdrawal. She agreed and we went to get her.

She was very sick -

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

My daughter is a Heroin Addict.

The purpose of this blog, hopefully, is frank/open discussions about parenting an addicted child.
My husband and I have 6 beautiful children between us. All of our children are GOOD people. Every one of them. We raised them all with abundant love and care, equally.
This blog is something about me as a parent and my youngest daughter, who I love dearly. Dearly. You might be shocked. I am. But I don't mean it to be all about me, of course... Hopefully this will open a dialogue for us all to share virtual hugs, support, ideas - and yes, smiles and laughter, because those are also intergal parts of parenting... Thank Goodness. When my children were little I remember thinking "Aha! THIS is why children get sent to their room - so that we can laugh."
Oh, I wish right now I had concerns about childish behavior... I've gotten good at dealing with that. No, this is something I never, ever, EVER even considered that I would have to deal with. My 18 year old daughter is addicted to heroin. Mine. My. Child.

I am frightened, embarrassed, angry ... but after doing some research, I think I am not alone. If your child is addicted, YOU are not alone.