Quiet time... Not Likely

I have been waiting for some solitude to put in an update and do justice to the whole complicated situation. But, I don't really see any solitude or quiet moments of reflection in the near future... that is not a negative in many ways - the time away from the demands of my job is best spent with my husband and Landon and the children who are running the typical gamut of young adulthood... and, it is my pleasure to be involved in the "normal" madness.

We recently celebrated my eldest son's 30th birthday and his engagement to his long time girlfriend. Such a wonderful thing... enjoyed time spent with my 2nd eldest daughter, discussing her challenges with her pre-teen sons and her precocious 5 year old... 3rd eldest is preparing for deployment to Afghanistan and that makes time with him important... 4th eldest daughter has flown the nest and it is fascinating watching her balance work and "life" and how well she seems to be doing it... the youngest daughter is one of the most responsible young ladies I have ever met... not only taking classes and working, but also dedicated to Landon as much as any parent ever was dedicated to a child - she has been with him since day one, and actually we have to help her remember to make time for herself.

And then, there is our addicted one... my youngest, our second to youngest, the subject of this blog... (Norm and I each have three children from previous marriage.) She has been sentenced to State Jail for at least 6 months... she may also get additional time for heroin possession charge that she was on probation for out of different county. "Boyfriend" also got some state jail time - 8 months - for the endangerment to a child charge. Ironically, if he hadn't involved Kaylee in his get-away attempt, I think he'd probably be out again already. My daughter now has a longer rap sheet than he does. I really have difficulty wrapping my head around that. It is what it is...


CPS sent us a letter only last week, a form letter, thanking us for our interest and advising that they investigated the situation and found no basis for a case. Yes - Mom and Dad are both in jail, baby was involved in a crime, everything is OK! I can't really wrap my brain around that one either. Kaylee does seem to be ok for the time being - she is crawling now. We see her when we exchange Landon with the other grandparents, and my 2nd eldest daughter has brought her to visit a couple of times when she watched her for a day or a weekend.

I haven't heard a word from my daughter - unlike all other times, she has not written me even to ask for money. I have written her a couple of times just to let her know I love her and to send her the "Rescue this Child" poem. What else is there to say that hasn't been said in other letters to her in lock-up? It may finally be shame she is feeling - I know she bonded with Kaylee. I don't think it is my place right now to add to that... and if she isn't feeling remorse, what would be the point of communicating any other message? I think she probably wasn't using, except maybe started again shortly before the arrest in August. I have heard there was friction between her and "boyfriend" because he had been using... All I know for sure is she was arrested again - with him - and allowed her daughter to be put in harm's way.

I think I was almost hoping she would get out as in the past and have time with her daughter without "boyfriend" calling the shots - but really, it isn't just his influence on her. It's the whole situation and the decisions she has made - if not him, there is no reason at this point to think there would be anything to keep her from continuing to make poor decisions

And... Life goes on. It's not all bad, it's mostly good. And for now, I know where everyone is and that they are safe (relatively speaking.)

Landon is officially in his "terrible twos" ... meaning, he's hitting all of the landmarks and is doing well. Look at that face and that smile - Who needs solitude? Ok, Ok... anyway, when it's calm, we are usually sleeping :-)

Define "Best Interest of the Child"

Daughter and "boyfriend" remain in Dallas County Jail... CPS has no open case on Kaylee. She is with the other grand-parents still. They told me that Kaylee was "placed" with them, but CPS has told us that there has been no official placement.  We are at an impasse there -

I do not know all of the details, but my daughter's bond amount is now $150,000.00. Her recent theft charges are enhanced previous convictions and violation of probabtion. I don't think she will be getting out soon, but I have been wrong before.  The irony is that "Boyfriend's" total bond amount is less than $3500.00; $1500 of which is for the charge of Abandon/Endanger Child by Criminal Negligence. HE could be released any day.

Based on what I know, when arrested, "boyfriend" took off running with Kaylee in a carrier, tossed her across front seat of car and attempted a get away. Thankfully the officers on the scene stopped him. At some point he was "tazed." (I must admit that I would get great satisfaction if I could have seen that taser action. Sorry, but it's true.) THANK GOD for the quick actions of the Garland PD - I still get nauseous thinking what would have happened if a high chase pursuit had ensued with Kaylee in front seat, unsecured.

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Just When You Least Expect It ....

I swear, I was going to post something - something good. I swear it - and I had come THIS close to accepting that me blogging something positive would not "jinx" any thing... I guess I learned for sure that my daughter's situation happens whether I weigh in or not, or... or... Just thinking about writing something positive is enough to tilt the world on it's axis.

Truth is, I wanted to say I thought she was doing well - I have seen her a few times, briefly, when she has ridden along with the other grandparents when it was time to exchange Landon for his visits.  She looked good - I've seen more of Kaylee because my other daughter was babysitting her while A went to work. To Work! She was working - I was excited about that. So, when I have seen her she's looked  - well, like a tired mom. But what I have worried about is I haven't seen or heard much of anything about "the boyfriend" - and I still believe anyone who chooses his life chooses trouble. I would really like to be wrong about that.

Anyway - short of it is they are both in jail as of last Wednesday. Caught shoplifting is what my daughter told me when she finally called me because... well, because that's the only time I really hear from her.. and since no one got her out before she finally called me.  I will never get over how hard it is to take those calls. Anyway, she told me she hadn't talked to anyone. She was deperate to get out "cause I have to go to work" - I got off the phone, took a breath... then...

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Happy Belated Mother's Day

So many have checked in, and I apologize that I have not written much. We are well... I think of you all often, and I guess I am guilty of illogically feeling that I may jinx something by posting that, as far as I know, my daughter and her daughter are also well. I have been in touch with her by phone, tho I haven't heard from her in a couple of weeks. The last time I saw her was a "Landon exchange" with the other grandparents, and she had a Mother's Day gift for me. She looked good, looked tired, which is how most moms of a 2-3 month old babies look... I hear Kaylee is happy and healthy - she has been there also on a couple of  "exchanges", but not on any the past few weeks.

I want to share, for all  the Moms and Dads, really all who love an addict -  this beautiful and inspiring post by BMelonsLemonade:

Mothers

~Hugs~

Update

I apologize it's been so long since I updated...

Mom and babe are healthy... As predicted, I was only notified that my daughter had delivered the baby because she hemorrhaged and was taken back into surgery several hours after the birth - Thankfully, some who conspired to keep me in the dark understood that I deserved to know when my daughter's life was in the balance.  I don't think I need to explain the awfulness of the hour and 1/2 drive to the hospital praying that my daughter .... well ...

So - Thankfully, the following day she was out of ICU... I was focused on her and the baby and thankful.

On the 2nd day, after I went to the hospital again at my daughter's request, "boyfriend" - nice to my face - later threw a fit about me being there.  In the evening when several family members were there, a nurse came in and said the baby needed to go back to the nursery for tests, and suggested family members step out of the room while she talked to my daughter and "boyfriend"...

We went downstairs, and about 15 minutes later "boyfriend" called me on my cell, yelling that I was not welcome to come back, that my daughter did not want me there, etc etc... Apparently CPS was called, and naturally, it was all MY fault.

Long story short... all were tested. When results came back, all tested clean. My daughter is talking to me on the phone, and I saw the baby on Thursday when we met with the other grandparents to exchange Landon for his visitation with them this week.

Unfortunately, this time and the time before, Landon did not want to go...

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Introducing...

So far it's been a bumpy ride - My daughter has had complications following C-Section and is in ICU - Hopefully out of ICU today.  So this is just a quick update - more later.

We have talked, and she is looking forward to doing the right things and putting this baby first. The other grandmother and I have talked also and we will be ready as family to help the parents, as long as they are doing the right things and putting Kaylie first...

Little Miss Kaylie is doing fine - born 8:15 am yesterday morning:

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Plowing Ahead

No new news, except that I got a promotion at work ... and we got quite a lot of snow, which is unusual in this part of Texas... The next time that we have this much snow fall, Landon may have kids of his own!  He likes snow - very much... we have to spell it, S-N-O-W, unless we are prepared to take him out.

We have a nice park across the street from our house - I thought it would be fun for him to go for a walk, and he agreed - unfortunately, I envisioned the sidewalk that ambles around the park as a nice clear path through the snow. In reality we found about 5 foot of walk fairly clear, and on each side a treacherous path that a few intrepid dog owners had tracked through, leaving footprints that had crusted over with ice...

Of course, Landon was ready to plow ahead, blissfully unaware of the challenges of that path. We slipped through several yards before I decided we needed to turn back...

Daughter's "boyfriend" is out of jail as of last week. New baby due within 2 weeks. The other grandparents will have Landon for the third week of this month.  I wish the path ahead was clearer.

Moving Forward